Worst thing YOU have done

[Uaithne 543]

Geeze, I've done some rotten stuff. Most of it was because of [insert personal real life reasons here], but that does not fully excuse whatever damage was done to other people. Plus I was pretty immature and stubborn.

 

Examples: I once publicly humiliated a member I punished.  I used to make board-wide events based on my desires without consulting my members.  Many, many times I have "allowed" myself to be in dangerous, humiliating, or unhealthy situations. (As you may guess, I'm not always the best judge of appropriateness.) Oh, and I used to be one of those admins who makes and ditches sites.

 

I'm definitely one of those who believes in second chances and growth over time.

[Guest TheHales]

I joined a site with a character that was completely based on trolling, got accepted, plotted, started threads, and promptly left because my only goal was to get this ridiculous character accepted. I did this more than once.

 

It's been a very long time since I've done this, but might as well confess my terribleness here with all the others!

[Vellamo 74]

I can really respect people who admit the things they've done wrong, it takes a lot to realise what you've done and admit it/not play the victim. 

 

For myself, the worst was: when I was younger, I let my members take too much control and reign free rather than set my foot down. If I had the courage to step in, I'm sure all of the hurt feelings would have been avoided. 

[Zahhy 130]

I love rules so when I took over admin of a site I went pretty gung-ho. I'm open and honest and blunt and I like a diplomatic approach to set down rules so I posted a lot in a worldbuilding or chat thread to discuss our options to get a feel of everyone's opinions and make rules that we all preferred.

 

I now realize this puts the spotlight on those that think differently from the admin, and it scared off a few long-time members of the site. I didn't care at the time because I really wanted to set down the rules that we all believed in and wanted to stop people from playing things that we found ridiculous.

 

It was a bit mean, even though I didn't intend it, and I still can't seem to find a good way to make new rules without me just swooping in and going "Let's talk about this!" so I still do it, knowing it is good for some (those that are comfortable sharing their opinions) and bad for others (Those that are afraid to share differing opinions publicly).

Edited March 8, 2018 by Zahhy

[Lucky Cat 83]

I banned someone after they threw a tantrum over me trying to enforce a rule (which they had ignored coming from me three times). They deleted all of their post contents, renamed their accounts, etc. and after I banned them they tried to come into the cbox to confront me on the issue (I had PM'd them the reason why they were banned). I banned not because of the tantrum they threw, but because I suspected them of being a very toxic member at a different site I staffed at for a while. They showed the same sort of behaviours, wrote the same, et cetera, but I didn't actually have concrete evidence. After the ban, I spent up to a good two weeks debating whether or not I had done the right thing (whether or not they were the same people), if I had acted too hastily, et cetera. I think I acted too hastily and I regret the decision I made... Now I know better for next time to not act so rashly and hastily. It was a valuable lesson for me.

Edited March 30, 2018 by iota
Making it concise.

[Sara 34]

Gah I went on to a site, saw an ad that tickled my fancy and posted in the cbox that I was going to take him...and then flaked. 

 

I feel super bad about it (I hate flakers) but I just don't have time to commit to another site

[Anonymous 234]

The worst thing I've ever done.....

 

recently I realized that I was using faulty tools for measuring RP friendship. I was using things like how long our threads together were, and sharing playlists, and making detailed brunch menus and IC party planning and asking endless minutiae about our OC's lives and how their families would interact and making moodboards. I do a very small amount of this with other people, but for the most part this was only for my best friend. But he started shipping with someone else and their threads were twice as long as ours (he says "because the other person comes from a 1x1 background, if this were you and me we would have started new threads multiple times for all of them") and he did all of the moodboards and detailed planning and stuff with the other player and I cried for a month straight. Literally all day every day I cried. And I still cry when I see the name of the RP they're on, or the name of the player anywhere at all, or the name of her character. 

 

I'm still having a difficult time adjusting to this; I hear a song and think "omg our OTPs....but what if it applies to this other ship, it's not special anymore" and I know it's completely irrational??? I want so badly to adjust to knowing that these were bad measurements and not as special as I was making them out to be, that I should be measuring by the fact that we talk all day every day and have for nearer a decade than not, or the fact that he made me a mug with pictures of our first OTP on it, or that he printed out a bunch of our stories for not one but THREE books that he spiral bound for me. We have this great bond and all I can do is cry because he shipped with someone else, I'm literally the worst friend in the world. What sort of horrible person can't handle their BEST FRIEND shipping with someone else? Honestly, a terrible one, that's who. It's an RP norm!! It should be fine! And of course I would never tell him he needs to choose between this ship or my friendship, but I can't believe how absolutely devastated and insecure I feel about the whole thing, and I really really hate myself for it. 

Anonymous poster hash: 4d25e...ff8

[Monaca 12]

All kinds of dumb stuff, mostly as a product of my immaturity as a teenager. Talking shit about people behind their backs, making fun of people who cannot type well, being a part of a clique myself once. I regret all of this and it's why I am so against cliques in the RP community.

[kipling 1]

in the past i've adminned roleplays that i was initially super excited about, and then abandoned them within a month or so of opening.. and then re-opened those same forums, promised that i was fixing my schedule to make more time for them, and then ended up doing the exact same thing after another month went by. oops. thankfully by now i'm a little more organized and know not to spread my commitments too thin haha

[Scout 26]

I had a horrible experience with somebody once on a site that I ran - they took a major canon, another staff accepted them without consulting me. They drove members away, ruined the canon character on the site, etc. etc. I still have the IP and email address banned on every site I run, and anytime somebody joins my site with the alias that person used, i look up their IP address and nearly refuse to accept them until i'm POSITIVE it's not the same person with a new email. It feels super shady, but never again!  

[Crystalfrost 4]

I really do try to be a good member... but I have some bad habits that stem from being staff most of my RPing experience.

 

I have a tendency to make suggestions or requests or bring up ideas, which I feel like can be irritating for some staff members. Having a new person come on and start spewing things at them to change. I try not to be pushy, but I think unfortunately I can come off that way. I'm well meaning but I think I've pissed some people off in the past.

 

So yeah, I'm bad at being a passive member just there to RP. I like having a hand in places where perhaps my hands do not belong.

[Dragon 673]

I'm a little on the fence about whether or not this was really a bad thing to do, but I can't argue that it wasn't a violation of some measure of trust. 

 

A long time ago I was on a long running site. The original admin had passed it off to another member to head because she was off to deal with life things like having a new baby. The new admin was much younger, HS age, and most of the other staff were college or older. 

 

A couple of these other staff were really toxic, shitty people that had that whole high on power thing going cause they staffed a rp site that had survived more than 5 years. They were the sorts who'd start targeting you IC and OOC for even a minor disagreement whether it was in the cbox or a discussion thread or even in character threading. They also got to the point where they'd be shitty with prospective members that came into the cbox with questions. 

 

Anyway, I was asked to join the staff team by the new admin and one of the old staff that hadn't joined the dark side so to speak. I got the full access to everything and started browsing things in the staff exclusive forum, and what I found was a LOT of really shitty talk about members from this 3 person section of asshole staff. 

 

SO I SCREEN SHOT EVERYTHING. 

 

After that, I baited the three into trash talking the other two not-shitty staff members over private messaging, then I screen capped that. 

 

Then I dispersed everything to our members and the other two staff. The site shut down completely, and all of us moved over and created a new site that went on to be successful for a long time (and "shockingly" became stress free for all of us). In the process the three staff in question were essentially black balled out of that sector of the whole over arcing rp community because most of us were on other sites with them, everyone shared how they behaved and people got shitty with them. 

 

 

[Tenebris 9]

On 12/24/2016 at 4:16 PM, SithLordOfSnark said:

I'm very sarcastic, sometimes to the point where I don't care if I offend someone and actually laugh when I do.

 

That would be me, in spades. I find it very difficult to 'mute' my particular brand of humor so it will sometimes get me into trouble - even though I have been working on it for years, meh.

[Anonymous 234]

Accidentally posted a private discussion in general chat that was meant for my co-admin.   I was tired, in the middle of work, and not as careful as I should have been. Nothing horrific was said, but I still unintentionally hurt some feelings as it related to some hostility on a public channel that the member under discussion believed was dealt with unfairly.  It was of course spotted even though it was deleted within about a minute,  I felt awful about it and it certainly made the situation a million time worse. 

 

Aaand I once deleted a whole thread of apps, years ago.  That was a bad baaaaaaaaaaaaaad day.

Anonymous poster hash: ea7d1...ba6

[Maleficent 15]

Same as @mystical I am sarcastic and bitchy and sometimes I share my frustrations with people I trust, which is clearly not a very nice thing to do and I am trying to be less... Erm... Impatient? Judgemental?

 

Possibly the worst thing I've done was recent and I feel guilty but I don't know if I should really... I was on a Shadowhunters site. The admin was becoming less active which was an indicator they were getting ready to bail as they had done the previous site I'd been on with them and had let them sweet talk me into rejoining, I agreed reluctantly but my friend from that site and I were already anxious about how long the site would last and making plans for if it did infact die. Anyway, people joined, the site got off the ground and just like before, crashed down and died. In the run up to it dying I could sense things were going south and I asked a few people if they'd join a site I was admining because I was sick of the way things were going (no advertising being done, admin never around, a canon sat waiting in the pending board for ages without being read, two members being accepted that didn't fit the lore or make any sense and the admin not even responding on Discord, etc)... So I bailed on the site and invited a few of the players I knew to come with me. Not my proudest moment, it felt sneaky because I didn't even tell the admin I was going (not that they were even responding to me in the first place) and I've never done that on a site before and I hope never to do it again. It seemed really underhanded to make my own site in the same fandom and then effectively steal the memberbase.