Staffing Post Harassment

[Dragon 673]

Have you ever had a player that was over eager for replies to the point that they were harassing other players? How did you deal with it? 

 

 

[Jaxx 317]

I deal with it as I would any other harassment. Send the player a PM stating that their behaviour has made people uncomfortable, they need to stop, and copy/paste whatever the site rules say about whatever flavour of behaviour they've got going on. On my current site, the rules about posting are, "Do not pester, prod, or attempt to guilt trip people into posting. You may send a PM if the thread has not been answered in fourteen days."

 

If the person decides that the rules don't apply to them and they can keep it up, I would give them a suspension for chat, Discord, pm, whatever they're harassing with. Tell them why, point out that they've ignored prior warnings, and say that if they continue the behaviour, they'll be asked to leave the site. No one person is ever important enough to me that they can make other players feel uncomfortable and get away with it. That's crappy adminning, sometimes even favouritism, and I dislike that as both a player and a staff member. 

 

Fortunately a single warning seems to curb people in most of the time. In some cases, they don't realise that they're overstepping boundaries, or at least they say so. But at the end of the day, the comfort of the general member base outweighs the fact that one person might think they're not getting posts quickly enough.

 

If someone's pestering me as a player, instead of me handling it as staff, I warn them twice that they're annoying me and that real life/posts I've owed longer come first. And then I tell them that if they don't cut it out, I'll drop all threads with them and refuse to do any in the future. 

 

And I apologise if any of this is worded weird or hard to understand, I've got a flu going on right now, and it's been making my brain all fuzzy. 

Edited August 3, 2018 by kita

[RaWolfe 43]

Yes sadly had to deal with it on almost every scale measure between 1 to 10. The most important thing is that I get information about the bigger picture of both sides and gather as much information as I can about the player. I am certainly not allergic to ban a person from my writing group, but I need proof to do so. 

[Deep Sea 326]

We ghosted that bitch. There was a million other reasons we were getting fed up with her, and a 26 year old woman nagging a 16 year old girl for posts in a borderline smut thread was the nail in the coffin.

 

We were 15/16, what can I say, our problem-solving skills weren't the best.

[Shades 676]

Yes, I have, in both capacities (player and staff member).

 

As a player, I give one warning that I will get to their post when I get to it (I'm a decently fast poster, so if someone is harassing me, they're probably wanting me to drop everything and post to them right that second), and, if they carry on, I drop the roleplay. I have zero patience for this crap.

 

As a staff member, I treat it as any other form of harassment. I don't believe 'I was just harassing Jane because I really want a post' means anything in the grand scheme of things. You (general) were harassing Jane, period, and you need to stop. So you (again general) get one chance to stop this right away. Otherwise staff will take whatever action they see fitting for the situation (from a temp cool-down ban if it's the first time they ever harassed anyone at all to a swift permanent ban if this is something they have pulled with other people before).

[Elena 546]

For me, it depends if this means "write me today!" or if it means "you haven't written since three weeks ago - are you still interested?" I am guilty for the second version both as staff and as member, and I see nothing wrong with it. But, again, it's when over three weeks pass, and I remind gently the person that we do exist.

 

If sooner, he'll be explained that he isn't the only one we owe posts to.

[Shades 676]

48 minutes ago, Elena said:

For me, it depends if this means "write me today!" or if it means "you haven't written since three weeks ago - are you still interested?" I am guilty for the second version both as staff and as member, and I see nothing wrong with it. But, again, it's when over three weeks pass, and I remind gently the person that we do exist.

 

If sooner, he'll be explained that he isn't the only one we owe posts to.

 

But a polite question is not harassment. It's a polite question. Harassment is never okay, period. It doesn't matter if it's because the other person owes a post, there's always a polite way of getting an update on when they plan on posting. If someone needs to resort to harassment to get that update, they probably don't belong in a community-based hobby.

[clipsed 231]

Fortunately, I don't see a whole lot of it, but how I deal with it depends on whether I'm on my own behalf or someone else's. 

 

As a member: Basically if it just happens from time to time, I'm happy to shrug it off. If it becomes more frequent I'll remind them that I have a life etc., and if that doesn't work, I won't play with them anymore. 

 

As a staffer: if I see it in the box frequently from the same player, I'll let the staff team know. Generally, we'll shoot of an informal PM reminding them that patience is a virtue, etc. If they continue to do it moving forward, or if we get a complaint about it from a member, then it's handled more seriously. 

[River 57]

I uh, used to be that player. So apologies. The admins on the site I was on didn't handle it super well, as all they did was say "patience is a virtue" in the chatbox and leave it at that, which didn't do anything to change my behavior because I was a bratty 14-year-old who didn't have a life outside of the Internet.

 

On my current forums I don't deal with it all that much on either end. I tend to be fairly active and post at least once a night, and if someone gets on my case I usually explain to them why I can't do their post (namely because I work 3 jobs and have a couple chronic health problems). On my end, I only poke people when I see that they've been doing lots of other posts, because it usually means they forgot they owed me a reply. It helps that a lot of members, myself included, do posts in batches by character, so if they do all of a character's replies except for yours, it means they forgot.

[Zahhy 130]

For me the important word here you used is harassing.

 

Generally, when a player or member is being passive aggressive or even aggressive or complaining and proddy about how often someone posts or doesn't post our members surge up to vouch for that person. "Hey. That's uncalled for, so-and-so is busy and you can wait." As an admin I usually don't have to say anything, as everyone else has each other's backs. (and I intend to continue to foster that kind of environment). If I'm a player, I legit just roll my eyes until they piss me off and I tell them flat out "Dude. I've got a lot going on and this is a game. chill."

Obviously, there are different levels of interaction, from rude, to annoying, but as soon as it becomes harassment it needs to be dealt with immediately and by staff. I personally prefer the on-site message system above chatting for Staff Interventions for formality sake. If you don't mind taking it to chat you can say so in your initial warning, but I've noticed that people take emails & PMs more seriously than they do a chat on discord/ slack.

 

We have a code of conduct, that I mention directly and point out how that behavior is not in line and that this is an official warning for them to stop. Even if you don't have a code of conduct you can flat out say "This type of behavior and communication is not in line with the kind of community we are trying to foster." Everyone knows that a general unspoken rule is to BE NICE.

 

 

[Rhindeer 217]

I use my words and tell them to knock it off. Which is pretty much how the community as a whole handles it. xD We have each other's backs and speak up and foster a culture of doing that.

 

When I see someone being obnoxious in Discord, we usually just go, "Hey, [player] will get to it when they get it. Drop it." Tends to work. If the player has talked to the pesterer about the issue, and the pesterer still continues, that's when I'll intervene as staff and give them an official "knock it off" message. But honestly, a lot of this is up to the player to set their own boundaries and enforce them.

 

When players have done it to me, I put my foot down. The first time, I'm nice and am just like, "I don't mind the occasional reminder if it's been a while, but being continuously prodded and pressured just makes me not want to post. I'm busy, so delays happen. So going forward, only remind me if it's been [time length]."

 

If they don't respect that, and continue, then I'll send another message along the lines of, "So, I explained this to you, and asked not to be prodded except after [time length]. If you keep continuing to ignore that and prod me, I'm gonna have to drop our thread."

 

And then if they still persist, I drop the thread. |:

 

And that is how one enforces boundaries. 8D

[Rune 1,099]

CW has it as a rule. Don't pester for replies. If someone starts bugging me personally I move their post to the back burner. Or drop it entirely (while telling them why.) I work, have admin stuff to do, family stuff and a million reptiles to care for. I'm not replying 24/7 and if someone can't understand that I don't want to write with them.

 

As staff, it's treated as anything else. A warning as others have stated. I've told people to knock it off in the box if it gets too bad.

[Elena 546]

@Shades and @Zahhy - what I consider a normal, legitimate, polite question (especially from an administrator, referring to a collective thread stalled by a person for weeks), another person can interpret as harassment. Been there, got my words misinterpreted so. 

[Zahhy 130]

@Elena That's a really good point! I'm not sure how to entirely avoid scenarios where there can be misinterpretations of intent, except not allowing or reaching out about replies at all. 

 

Perhaps you can state it in your rules that after x amount of days staff will inquire about collective threads if there is lack of use? It is absolutely not unreasonable IMHO for admin to check out why their players have abandoned important threads, especially if they haven't posted in the absences forum. It won't stop people from feeling the way they want to feel about being questioned, but it can help them understand better why it is happening and most importantly having it in the rules protects you with policy, regardless of interpretation.

Edited August 4, 2018 by Zahhy

[Uaithne 543]

I've been the annoying pest. From this perspective, I can tell you that saying "don't pester for replies" is very, very subjective. Sometimes I'd think I was being polite when other people were interpreting it as annoying.  Ghosting me or telling me to stop wouldn't actually solve the real problem in that I didn't know what was appropriate and what was too much. Instead, it would just cause hurt feelings and miscommunication.

 

I see two ways of addressing this issue: 

 

1) Make specific rules with a time frame for when you can bother people for posts. Every three days or 24 hours or two weeks or whatever.

 

2) Have members create specific time frames for themselves. Many sites have member lists; in this, they can write how frequently people can ask/remind/pester for replies. I like this option because everyone is different and has different opinions on what is acceptable and what is not.

Edited August 6, 2018 by Uaithne