How do you deal with my issue

[Crimson 30]

Ok, I have read some staff issues around here but now I must speak up to ask how do you deal with certain issue. I am the main admin and most people automatically gravitate to me, while not a problem I feel some are just trying to please me more than anything and all fine and dandy but I feel they think because they please me and are good folks I will be lenient on rules and other things. I will explain we will call the member Mouse for obvious reasons.

 

Mouse has some issues that I try to simply ignore not because I am admin but because I tend to want everyone happy. The few issues is as follows:

- We have caught her using another member to write her bios, because well hers are just a bunch of gibberish that we admins try to understand. We called her on it when we caught her but now she has joined our new site and has done it again but we can't proof it this time (Mind you we have seen the difference and is not hers)

- Her posting are not cohesive, nor make sense half the time...I like giving people the benefit of doubt but now is affecting other members to the point I am afraid to loose some folks over it.

- We have now and other times provided writing workshops and she ignores them even when me the admin join them she refuses to join....

- I don't want to be mean to her or flat out tell her no on certain things like for example I said no to another canon she wanted to make. I allowed her to take a canon and she is allowed to make 1 more character as per the rules. How ever I said no to the canon because it was a specific canon that it was hard to rp because its a strong one and I knew she couldn't play it well...So she through a tantrum stop coming to the board for a few days.

- Now she made another character and I told her it was the last one because I want her to develop these two. So now she flat out ignores me on posts.

- Evidence of this is we have a mini event going and after everyone has posted I post and when she posted again she did not acknowledge anyone on the mini-event except her writing buddy as if the event was just theres and everyone else doesn't exhist in it when other players interacted with her  and she has ignored them all.

- There is some prizes and ribbons for this event and I feel that if I hand them out she will have a fit for not recieving one.

 

What should I do?

Edited March 14, 2018 by Crimson

[Rune 1,099]

Let her have her fit.

Bonus points if she does it in public where you can point out WHY she didn't receive them.

You could always PM her, explain that her writing isn't on par with the rest of the site and you don't feel she is a good fit, but this is extremely uncomfortable for all involved and no one wants to be that guy, right? 

It isn't a fun place to be, at all. You could approach her and ask her how you can help, but then you are in the position of holding her hand for the rest of forever.

 

What you SHOULD do is do not cater to her in any way. 

You said no to a canon. Good job! You said no more characters until she gets posts on the ones she has! Good job! Hold to this. If she doesn't acknowledge the posts in the event, so be it. No one will acknowledge her, hopefully, and she'll ragequit (if you're lucky. Ragequits are the best.) But, if she doesn't acknowledge the plot itself, do not involve her. Rude? Totally. But thems the breaks. She isn't playing with you, so don't play with her. She seemingly just wants a world to play in as opposed to people to play with.

 

Next time she posts an app that makes no sense or a post that has a member coming to you going "Uh... What?" Call her on it. Either in the app reviews with a simple "Sorry, this is very difficult to understand. Could you make it clearer/fix grammar issues? We'll be happy to look at it then but as it stands, we just can't manage to make heads or tails of it." Or you'll get a member that just bluntly asks her WTF she was posting or tells her they can't reply because it was just so... Off.

 

Some things might turn out to be self policing. Chances are she doesn't have that many fans on board but she, clearly, likes you/your boards since she's following you like a puppy. If this is the case, banning her probably wouldn't have that much of a wave, and you could always toss her an email explaining why.

[Crimson 30]

I do have one admin that has asked this person WTF I dont get it and she ignores it... So what do we do then?

[Quell 249]

I'm with Rune on this. 

 

Being an admin is not easy. Sometimes you get to be the coolest kid in school; but other times you have to be the principal. The most important part is that you are consistent in your rules. 

 

Once you break your own rules once, it feels easier to do it again. So just don't start down the path. Don't cave because she asked or begged, because that will lead to more people acting out to get their way; and that is certainly not what you want. 

 

My suggestion is that you move the discussions somewhere private, discuss with her what your concerns are (especially with this canon character you are not allowing her to take; and what your reasons are).

 

In my experience, a good admin has no favorites when they have their admin hat on; they are understanding and caring, but they are clear in their stance and stick to their rules. A good admin is like a good king -- each player is important; but you don't let the kingdom fall to make a single duke stop complaining. Saying 'no' doesn't make you a bully or a tyrant; a member being sad or upset doesn't mean that you've done something wrong, especially if you are just enforcing your own rules.

 

(I would suggest perhaps putting into place some rules to keep her in line. Things that you think would make you and your staff more comfortable about interacting with her. This might help establish better boundaries and expectations than currently exist.)

Edited March 14, 2018 by Thyme

[MissQ 90]

Rune said it a lot more diplomatic than my first two drafts. This is going to sound harsh and I apologize in advance, but the next part is going to be straightforward. 

 

The biggest problem I see here is your need to make everyone happy. Take that idea, set it on fire, and throw it out the window. The hardest lesson a person can learn as an admin is you cannot make everyone happy.  It's toxic to you and the community you're trying to build. Inactive response to behavior like this is why people think they can kiss up or throw tantrums. 

 

This member does not respect you as an admin or a friend. They need to go. Simple as that. It's difficult to be considered the "bad parent" but you should put your foot down because they're not going to stop and this is going to usher in more people who think they can do the same. 

[Rune 1,099]

Just now, Crimson said:

I do have one admin that has asked this person WTF I dont get it and she ignores it... So what do we do then?

Keep it up. Ping her. Send her a PM. Ask her if she got the PM in public chat. Don't say what it was about in public, but refuse to let her ignore you. (This will be easier with an application, of course.)

 

Or, just bluntly tell her "Sorry, but I cannot reply to this because I just can't understand what you are saying. This reads totally different from your app. What happened there?"

 

Don't publicly shame her, of course, but I guarantee you aren't alone in not understanding her posts (do you have a staff chat where you guys can discuss this sort of thing?) Or have you had any members approach you at a loss of what to do? I've had to approach staff to ask their opinions on how to handle a thread and it should always be an option available. 

Just now, MissQ said:

Rune said it a lot more diplomatic than my first two drafts. This is going to sound harsh and I apologize in advance, but the next part is going to be straightforward. 

 

I've had to deal with this problem a lot over the years. Most of the time it is self-solving because people just stop replying to their threads because, well, they can't, and the person leaves.

 

Basically, what you're going to get in this thread is the same: Kick her to the curb. She isn't contributing, she isn't supporting your environment and she isn't playing as part of the team. She isn't valuable. (Harsh? Totally. But even if someone RPs with a grand 1 other person, if they are contributing worthwhile characters and threads, they are valuable to the community. This person can't seem to even do that.)

[Crimson 30]

Yeah I think and know this is right, me being lenient has only fed her this idea that I can take any type of writers, which honestly is ok if you want to improve and if you would listen and take advice from the constructive criticism, but she doesn't she ignores it. Heck I myself want to improve I sign myself up on writing workshops all the time . I did approach her privatively explained why not to the one canon and she was like ok, fine her fit came after one of the mods took the character and I allowed it because she has proven time and time to be capable of working a strong character.

 

My other question how do we approach her if we suspect she didn't right the application herself....Yes she has a second charrie up because I said no to the one canon.

 

Edited March 14, 2018 by Crimson

[Quell 249]

10 minutes ago, Crimson said:

My other question how do we approach her if we suspect she didn't right the application herself....Yes she has a second charrie up because I said no to the one canon.

 

Have you done a google search of the original application to verify that it has not been taken from elsewhere? (If you have a rule about plagiarism that can nip it right in the bud)

 

Otherwise, I would just approach her about the different in style and legability in a PM. 

 

"Hey ____,

 

Recently, we've noticed a bit of a change in your writing style. Your application was polished and easy to read, however your more recent posts are less coherent. Unfortunately, due to [reason this is unacceptable], we are going to [warning/consequence for unacceptable behavior]. 

 

Let us know if you have any questions!"

 

You might also add in something about offering an explanation for what happened.

Edited March 14, 2018 by Thyme

[Morrigan 1,826]

Leave it be. Unless you suspect plagiarism don't approach. I'm pretty well known, personally, for having writing partners that will write profiles for me because:

• I don't like writing profiles.
• The character they want me to play is someone they are interested in and not me but I'll play it if I don't have to write the profile.
• It's not plagiarism if they are given permission. This isn't college where someone else writing a paper for another student is against the rules.

[Crimson 30]

Thanks this is all good info we are taking all advise here because it is a good one and Rune dang I heart you is not easy dealing with folks like these.  And we dont mind Rping with everyone but it was brought to our attention by other members so is why I needed some sound advice.

[Rune 1,099]

53 minutes ago, Crimson said:

Thanks this is all good info we are taking all advise here because it is a good one and Rune dang I heart you is not easy dealing with folks like these.  And we dont mind Rping with everyone but it was brought to our attention by other members so is why I needed some sound advice.

<3

 

I'll happily dish out advice, especially in touchy situations. This sort is never fun, and happens frequently enough that we've all either come across it or will.

[musicdiva1331 34]

k so. people can choose not to rp with her. That's my first thing. If writing workshops aren't mandatory, well, tough luck on that, even if you are joining them, it's rp. This is not work. It's supposed to be fun. Do you know if this person is writing in their first language? Have you asked? Maybe that does account for some of the grammar issues. We all make mistakes, so I'd definitely be careful about bringing that up as a "mistake," especially depending on how they're led.

 

Bottom line, if you're not willing to work with her or around her and are tired of telling her, you're going to have to find a way to tell her to edit politely. That being said, I would make sure the people who are complaining are actually meeting the standard that is being set for her, or prepare for a firestorm. I'm always cautious about this kind of thing with people when asking for edits that involve any spelling/grammar, unless I know mine is absolutely flawless. Just a thought.

[Elena 546]

In my opinion, ignoring an administrator's PM is the worst red flag possible. It is disrespect and this should be addressed first and foremost.

[Sadrienne 242]

There are two things at play here.

 

1. You have a member that struggles a bit in writing coherently.
2. You have a member that is not actively developing their skills on your board.

 

Neither of these things alone is an issue. Together, they create a situation where---whether you step in or not---she's going to find herself with fewer and fewer potential writing partners. Players will ignore/avoid other players that they don't feel they can have a productive thread with. It's not always about spelling, grammer, or other basic constructions of writing... sometimes it's as simple as a difference in style and pacing, and all of that is okay.

 

Players gravitate toward the other players that suit them best. On your board, with the current membership, this member is falling below the average standard and that makes her "less suitable" as a writing partner. 

 

It sounds like you've reached out to try and help her, only to be ignored. That is her choice. If she doesn't want to take on advice and put herself in a position where she is a viable thread partner for your other members, that is also her choice. You can't develop her skills for her.

 

I don't recommend challenging her over the applications, unless it clearly is plagiarized without permission. You want to base your actions on what you know is hers and the complaints that come to you. 

 

I also don't recommend pushing her to develop/edit/improve. Why? Because if she's ignoring you, it's mostly going to be a waste of your time. 

 

If this was my board, I would:

 

• Encourage members who have threads with her to talk with her directly about any difficulty they have in understanding her posts. When members are comfortable doing this, it does take a little of the pressure off your shoulders, and reinforces the point that it's not just you that is having trouble.
• When members do speak to you about issues with her posts, send her a PM with some steps she can take to improve the post. Just suggestions, don't tell her how to write the post. Quote lines that are particularly hard to understand and ask her to edit them for clarification where necessary.
• If she chooses to ignore the PMs, does not edit, and the other member refuses to post until she does: let the thread die. 
• If she complains to you that people stop replying to her threads, simply remind her that they are waiting for edits from her last post. Once she's cleaned the post up, she will get posts back. It's simple as that.
• Make sure other members know they can hold a thread up waiting for edits. 
• In group threads, where she ignores most characters outside of her usual buddy, send a PM that highlights all of the ignored interactions. If the problem is repeated, suggest she stick to one-on-one threads instead. Some people just suck at group threads. I'm one of them.

 

This isn't about being a bully or forcing some elitist agenda. It's about her being accountable for her writing, and whether she is motivated to push herself to the standard of writing that most of your members are at. If she's not (and this is absolutely fine, this is a hobby!) there are other boards out there that may suit her better. 

 

But she needs to know that if she wants to thread with a wide range of members, she is going to need to do a little work. Because we can't make people play with her if they don't understand her writing.

[Icewolf 258]

I wonder if this is an age related issue? From the way you describe how she acts, she seems really young to me. I would consider making rules about the standard of writing that you expect and recommend a writing board (not an rp one) where she can write to her hearts content. If it's an age related problem, she will improve with time. (I remember coming across some old stories I wrote ages ago while in school and balked at how bad the grammar and spelling was!) Not all writing issues are down to not having English as their first language as some have suggested, but it could be down to age and kids can be very stubborn about things. I would also consider putting a lower age limit in your rules - make it 18+ or something like that to put off young writers.

 

Finally, do you really want to keep this person on your board? You've given them a chance to improve, but if they are ignoring it, constantly asking them to improve and policing their writing is exhausting and neither you nor your members should have to act like teachers all the time. You're there to have fun on the board yourself and if it becomes something other than that then it's not what you intended to create.