Real Life Feminism in 2018

[VirusZero 176]

This is a response to something that was posted in the Stupid Rules thread... I wanted to continue the discussion but not in that topic, in it's own place.

But before I get into this, let me state very explicitly... If you think I'm wrong that's great, however you need to provide evidence to back up what you're saying. And no, your feelings are not acceptable proof of any sort. (So coming in with "I feel that <idea> is wrong" is pointless.) Additionally, saying "I'm offended" won't work here to end the discussion. (To quote Stephen Fry... So what?) Similarly if you think that going for the transphobic, racist, sexist, etc... Forget it because in doing so you only prove how you have no argument at all and rely solely on attempting to shut people up by attacking their person rather than their argument. (And that's a cowardly thing to do. So none of that here.)

 

So with that out of the way, onto the real meat of the matter...

 

It's my contention that Feminism has run it's course. The "war" is over in the developed world. Rights have been achieved and there's nothing really left to fight for here in North America. (You want to fight a real battle, maybe go to places like Syria where you can be stoned to death for things like not wearing the hijab. But few, if any, first world feminists want to tackle these problems. It means leaving the ivory towers and facing actual hardship.) And for the rest of this, post I am only talking about North America. 
I'd ask those who believe in feminism to name some rights which men have that women do not. But I don't believe that they'd be able to name any actual legitimate rights. Most of the stuff I've seen feminists claim as rights they don't have are things like: "the right to be taken seriously". However that's not a right to begin with. Nor is it something instantly conferred to men. The phrase "the grass always looks greener from the other side" springs to mind. 

And because I know inevitably feminists will bring these up as "proof" of why feminism is still needed... Let me get these issues out of the way now. 

- Women make .77 per dollar of what a man makes for the same work. 
Nope, it's a myth. A cursory thought experiment rules it out... 
If a company thought it could legally get away with paying a woman 77 cents (per a man's dollar), why would they ever hire men? They could get the same work done at a much cheaper rate. 
Because of that we don't even really have to look at the numbers to rule it out. Though if we did actually look at the numbers and account for things like: (Overtime) Hours worked in a week or career pay rate (a neurosurgeon makes more than a general practitioner). We'd notice that the pay gap disappears. More on that here.

- 1 in 5 women are raped. 
Also no. The 1 in 5 stat is based off a flawed study. Additionally to even realistically presume that the 1-in-5 myth is real means the USA has rape rates on par with the Congo or war torn environments. Which, I'd hope, anyone with a modicum of intelligence would see is absurd.

- Women suffer terrible genital mutilation in North America.
It's rare, at best, in North America. It's been a crime since 1996 in the US. This also includes taking the girl to countries that do practice female genital mutilation to have the practice performed on them. More on that here.

- 100,000 Sold to sex slavery in the US each year. 
Not even close. The source is a justice department study that looked at the at risk population, but the media "misread" the at risk population as being sold into slavery. But, of course, sensationalism sells so even though the number is flagrantly false it is still repeated. More on that here.


Realistically anything that's left to "fight" over in the first world is, at best, nuisance level stuff. I mean look at the big feminist issues from the past few years... catcalling, mansplaining and manspreading. (Which, for a ideology based around how words have power, they certainly see no issue claiming all things female as good and naming all things male as bad. You can't use the term fireman because is dissuades women from trying. But you can absolutely say the force for all evil is patriarchy... aka men. Thanks Ms. Straughan.)


To further this, many women now think that feminism isn't really necessary here in North America. Only 23% of women call themselves feminists ... why? Likely for a few reasons...
1- hijacking of feminism
If you look for feminists you're likely only to ever encounter the screeching angry feminist (like this - Ms Chanty Binx) that is completely tone deaf to the fact that their verbal diarrhea turns people off their goal/message. Though their goals, as mentioned above, tend to be fairly petty and nonsensical. The idea that a man can't open his legs on a subway car because a woman doesn't want to stare at his crotch? It's entirely his fault she's staring at his crotch though right? And totally the most important issue facing modern women. (In case it's not evidence the last two sentences are all sarcasm.)
Most women see this kind of stuff for what it is... petty, man-hating bullshit. 

2- accomplished the goals
Most women today have never had to face any kind of real sexism. Never been denied a job because they're a woman. Never been denied birth control. Never been denied entry into university based on gender. Never been denied the option to vote. Never been denied owning property. Most women (the aforementioned 77%) now tend to realise this fact. 

3- Infantilizing of women
Modern feminism oft paints women as weak, helpless, defenseless women stuck without any help. That the reason why they are unhappy is because of society. That whatever ails them is someone else's fault (it's never because of their own poor life choices... so the reason someone's called a bitch isn't because she's spiteful and takes her anger out on others for no reason... it's because she's a woman and society hates women). It tells women that nothing is their fault, that they are perfect how they are and society needs to change to accept them. But a lot of women see this and realise just how much of an issue this mindset actually is. 

I mentioned prior about the grass looking greener on the other side... This is very much a relevant point here. Too often women think men have all these bonus privileges simply because they're men. But that's typically not the case. And it also fails to see the extreme costs that men have to pay for things they do have. I'm not saying women don't have things rough either (so don't get defensive over it). I'm simply saying that life isn't all roses for men either. Both sides have aspects which very much sucks. (This is not a pissing contest of who has it worse either. If you want to have that discussion... another topic.)

 

Spoiler

I don't want to spend a lot of time on this so here's the cliff notes version of things that affect men that you might not have known...

Men:

- make up 92% of work place fatalities.

- commit (and succeed at) suicide 3.5 times as often as women.

- receive sentences that are 63% longer for identical crimes.

- live (on average) 5 years less than women.

 

Despite the rates for domestic abuse being about equal, the male partner has far fewer options. He can't go to any women's shelter (or domestic violence shelter), he'll be turned away as they're for women only. There are virtually none for men. He can't go home, he'll get more abuse. Police arrest men if the woman so much as breaks a fingernail herself (even through hitting him!). Police even admit that much.

 

Just see what 50 men have to say on this. (Just be prepared to feel some pretty heavy sadness.) I'd also recommend Ms. Straughan's Feminism and the Disposable Male.

 

If you're interested in seeing what men have it like... pick up the book called "Self Made Man" by Nora Vincent. Or at the very least watch this clip.