Membership problem with members

[Anonymous 234]

I am looking for some feedback on a situation involving a pair of members.

 

Member #1 joined and was an active poster with everyone then made a romantic wanted ad for themselves. Member #2 took said ad shortly thereafter. Since the ad was taken, there's became an obvious problem of them doing 3-5 posts back and forth with their ship which are all tagged in the shoutbox while ignoring any other posts they owe on the board. We use the tagging system and both members acknowledge they have other threads (even states in the cbox they know this other post is owed), BUT they continue to go back and forth with one another. Member #1 recently made a second character but has made no attempt to plot with anyone except the love interest played by Member #2 and has started a second thread between them that is prioritized. My co-admin suggests that we just ignore it and go about things, let them do their thing, but I feel like ignoring it isn't a good solution and this could become a bigger problem.  Any advice?

Anonymous poster hash: 6f15f...403

[Monroe 26]

I say let them go with their muse. ❤️

Edited July 9, 2018 by Monroe

[Arceus 1,082]

I don't see the problem here. Honestly, my first thought was, "Sooo who hurt you, Anon?"

 

Sometimes, people just aren't feeling something else, or they get excited and want to run with the moment. Nothing wrong with that, long as they aren't crapping on someone else's fun, or holding up a multi-player thread. Let 'em have it, they aren't hurting anything. I mean, look at this from their shoes: if someone tried to tell you who you were allowed to role-play with and when, you'd book it pretty quick, wouldn't you? (For gosh's sake I hope so.) I mean, they're even only on thread two. Have a cup of tea, love.

[Huskerdust 625]

This shouldn’t even be an issue. My friend and I do this all the time and encourage others to as well. People seem to keep forgetting this is a hobby. For fun. When you have free time. Maybe they want to use that time posting together with their ship. 

 

Like Arceus said, I see no problem here. 

[Morrigan 1,826]

I'll be real, so do I. I do this often. In fact @Dragon can attest that I'll ignore posts because one plot is more interesting than the others and I almost play exclusively with her and we have 10 active plots. It's not hurting anything and it makes your site seem active.

 

I would, perhaps, ask them to stop acknowledging other owed threads as it makes it sound like actual ignoring.

 

@Dragon

[Mistress Of The Obvious 73]

How long has this been going on, Anon? A week? Two? A month?

 

Still I agree with your co-admin. Doing anything is going to bother your two members who are enjoying themselves and not fix anything. The longer they ignore threads with others, the more they risk those people not wanting to continue them or rping with them. They know this. Where this line is, is different for everyone. It's not something you can regulate. You can't protect people from themselves.

 

If it has only been a short time then they'll likely go to the other posts they owe and are just enthused over the newness of things building. 

[Elena 546]

It depends what are the other threads. If they are plot-centric, collective threads they are stalling, then they need to be reminded that collective threads have priority to one-on-one. You can also remind them (if more than 2 weeks had passed, and if infringes your activity rules of one post weekly in each thread - assuming you have this rule I have seen often) that they are ignoring other important threads, and this is against the rule or this might make the writing partners not want to write with them again. But more than a brief, casual warning, you can't do anything.

[Sadrienne 242]

Are the people involved in the ignored threads getting frustrated by this?

 

It's not an issue until someone in one of those threads (both the active ones and the ones that are stalling) is unhappy. Even then, it's a situation that should be dealt with between the members involved, and unless a member actively seeks the support of staff to resolve the situation---not something worth intervening in at this point. After all, the participants in the stalled threads might be perfectly happy with the pace, and that's fine.

 

Encourage open communication between your members so they do feel they can say to each other, "Hey - I would like to keep our thread moving". If you bring yourself into the situation as staff too early, it can have the opposite effect and lead members to feel like their activity is under close scrutiny and that's uncomfortable. Basically, if it ain't broke---don't fix it.

[Uaithne 543]

It's cool to post at different speeds as long as everyone is on the same page. If the members are telling other people that they'll be posting later but never follow through, THAT is a problem and needs to be dealt with. But some threads catch our attention more than others, and it sucks to be on the end of those who have to wait, but we all do it to some degree. Yet telling ourselves that we HAVE to post in all threads in order can burn some people out.

 

If I were you, encourage them to communicate with others if they aren't already. "Hey, I'm posting faster in this other thread but I haven't forgotten ours," is a great thing to tell other people. If appropriate, they can give an expected post date ("I'll post every three days"). Sometimes it's okay to be completely honest and say, "I need more time to write a good post in some threads, and I don't want to give you a piece of garbage simply for the sake of making a post."

 

But unless, like @Elena said, don't bother them if they're not holding people up. Or disrupting your community.

[Anonymous 234]

This has happened in the past with a couple members on my board.  I don't have any problems with back and forth, everyone does this. I certainly have,  and encouraging muse is important.   I love when people do some rapid fire and are enjoying themselves.  HOWEVER, I do think it's important to not ignore other threads in the process and when weeks and months go by without posts in multiple threads for multiple members, and when these members also have canon characters etc in threads that they are ignoring in favor of this back and forth, then I start to have a problem.   It has definitely resulted in hurt feelings as well as people unwilling to get into any threads with them because they just end up getting ignored which doesn't do the ones involved in the continual back and forth any favors either when they want to get involved in larger plots.  That's just not a great atmosphere for anyone.

 

Obviously communication is key in everything, but I do think there gets to be a point where it's frankly just discourteous to fellow rpers.  At least just straight up tell the people they are threading with if they want to drop the threads.  This is just my opinion, but I think it's probably more awkward to have to try to ask someone to post (especially because that will then create pressure and the feeling that you are MAKING them thread with you) then for someone to just say hey, mind if we just drop this thread.   I'd hate to have it all become a chore and back and forth is all great and fun, but if a member is going to keep actively seeking out and opening new threads too, then I think it's very important to at least be courteous about keeping up, maybe not every day, but at least with some frequency.   

Anonymous poster hash: 48f9f...970

[Icewolf 258]

It doesn't really sound like a problem to me, unless their characters are very important to other players or the board in general. Folks, when they are really into a romantic ship will do it.

[Sage 289]

If this is repeat behavior for these members and other members are coming to you, as staff, about it, then just encourage them to drop those threads with the problem members. They're getting hung up on something that sucks, but there are plenty of other people to rp with, and plenty of other plots to be had. Sometimes, you gotta let other people do their thing and move on. 

 

I really don't see a problem with people only playing with one or two others. It happens. Life, and story, will move on around them. Just be chill. Focus on other threads. And if they ever reply to yours, then cool! If not, oh well. One of the good things about being a writer is that you don't have to be hung up waiting for something to happen, you can just make it happen! 

[CovertSphinx 710]

The Honeymoon stage will eventually fizzle out and they'll get tired of RPing all the RelationFluff so intensely. My advice is to treat it like a friend who just got a new romantic partner in RL: They'll probably disappear for a bit, and then filter back when they either get used to juggling different relationships or the romance fizzles to an end. I'd advise the other members who are "being ignored" to move on and start other threads with new people without waiting so heavily on the lovebirds.

[VirusZero 176]

A few important questions:

 

- Are these characters they've taken important?

As in, are they like major canons who are expected to be playing with loads of people? Or, if not canons, those in positions of power where they would be required to interact with others? (Ex- a captain of a ship.)

 

- How long has this been going on?

 

 

 

If the answers are that the characters aren't super important and it hasn't been going on long... Ignore the issue for now. It may well resolve itself. They'll get over their hype and post for others soon enough. 

 

However if these characters are important and/or this has been going on a while (like a month) then yeah, it's time to talk to them. Even a gentle reminder of "Hey, while we know you're super enthusiastic for <plot with member>, don't forget that others are also waiting on posts from you too. Some of them have been waiting for <time period> now and it's kinda unfair to them to only post with <member>." might be a good idea just to let them know/remind them that it's not just the other person who's writing with them. 

 

I get that this is just a hobby... but that's not a good reason/excuse for completely ignoring pre-existing plots to focus on the new/shiny or ones you might like a bit more. Wrap those others up if you're not into them. But don't be a dick and keep putting others off.  Part of the problem with roleplay is that people are only ever interested in their own wants and needs. (And it kinda seems like it's getting worse to boot.)

 

And for the love of fuck... actually communicate and commit. Don't say "I'll post" and then put it off and put it off. Give a set time. Even something is better than nothing. And, to be blunt, you're going to be far harder on yourself than anyone else is. So it doesn't matter if you don't think your reply is perfect. Perfect doesn't exist. Just post.  The other person/people involved would rather that something be up than waiting.

[Rune 1,099]

People will figure out easily enough that by posting to 1 and 2 they won't get replies and go on with their own lives. 

 

If other people are bringing it to you, you can always suggest that they approach 1 and 2 and ask if they want to drop the thread.